Le site de Marlene en français se trouve ici

photo : made with love by @Nathalie Frennet

On alexithymia and relationships

– how you always seem to be walking at a different pace, in time and depth

– how you can’t necessarily express your feelings and desires when the other person asks you to

– how you need to gather more information, because you feel everything very deeply but you just can’t find the words to connect them with

– how you are sometimes treated like an idiot by people with a far lower IQ than yourself (just because you feel things so deeply that you need more time to process it all)

– how you remain speechless because you need to process what is felt in your body and connect it to your mind in order to be able to make yourself understood

– how it all gets so overwhelming that the only thing that appeals to you in the relationship is to escape, and so you simply freeze

– how you get obsessed with the truth once you ‘got it’ and finally figure out what was wrong: the violence, the abuse, the lies, the manipulation, the misunderstandings, the lovelessness, the ‘not being heard or seen’…

And then…

– the urgency with which you suddenly need to express yourself and let the other know you can’t take it any longer, as though the relationship were something that polluted you and stopped you from breathing freely

– the surprise of the friend/lover/colleague/neighbor when you suddenly tell them you can’t go on

– the total lack of understanding you receive now that you finally expressed yourself

– the grief when you realize you broke it all and you will never see the person again while deep inside, you know you will keep carrying them in your heart for a long long time

Relationships with alexithymia : it’s hard

Greetings,

Marlene

Wikipedia : Alexithymia is a neuropsychological phenomenon expressing important difficulties in identifying and describing the experienced emotions by oneself or others.